Dehumanization

A Mechanism for Narcissists and Sociopaths to Mistreat Others

If you have ever experienced a narcissist or sociopath firsthand, you will have been left wondering how they can possibly treat other human beings with such little regard..

Objectification 

Narcissists and sociopaths can't handle genuine, heartfelt interaction between themselves and other human beings; they just aren't capable of communicating on anything other than the most superficial levels. So, rather than try, they simply alter their perceptions of those around them.
 

They willfully ignore the thoughts, feelings, rights, and beliefs of other people and reduce them to mere objects. In this way, they don't see a person, but simply an inert physical form.
  

They do this because they are familiar with objects; they know how to deal with them and use them for their own personal gain or satisfaction. Viewing individuals as objects allows them to treat them in the same way that they would a phone, car, table, or bed.
  

Objectification is the primary vehicle through which they are able to justify and commit their callous and often abusive acts towards others. They are unable to feel any empathy towards the victim because, to them, this would be like empathizing with a rock.
 

The result is an armory of emotional, verbal, and even physical weapons that provide the means to extract the desired use from those they target. And because they see people in the same way as objects, they have no qualms about discarding them if and when they have served their purpose.
 

This is why, should you ever escape from a narcissistic relationship of any kind, and you are able to stay firm and maintain zero contact, they will swiftly move on and find a new victim without a moment's hesitation. To them, it's little more than a change of outfit or buying a new television. This is not to say that they won't try to re-engage you at a later date, but they won't do so out of some emotional connection; they will merely want to use you again.
 

Invalidation 

Invalidation comes in many forms. It might be a case of teasing someone for their beliefs, their looks, their feelings, or the way they act in order to make them doubt themselves. This can chip away at someone's self confidence until they are more easily persuaded and mistreated.
 

To invalidate someone is to make them feel rejected, wrong, abnormal, and worthless. By doing so, a narcissist or sociopath can convince themselves of their superiority while simultaneously degrading a person and breaking their spirit.
 

Repeated rejection can have a similar effect on a person's self-esteem. If the perpetrator rejects a person's advances again and again, it lessens their confidence and convinces them that they are not the one calling the shots in a relationship. They gradually become more subservient, bent by the will of their oppressor.
 

Ignoring someone is also a very powerful form of mental abuse. Whether it is a partner's wishes, a child's cries for help, or a colleague's morning greeting, silence and/or a lack of acknowledgement can be incredibly disconcerting. It demonstrates the spitefulness so often seen in the behavior of narcissists and sociopaths.
 

Never-ending judgement of one's actions and thoughts is yet another form of invalidation that leaves the victim plagued by doubt and riddled with insecurity. By putting someone under the microscope and criticizing their every move, these abusive personalities are able to further break down their victim's sense of self. This leaves them in the vulnerable position of relying on their abuser for any and all decision-making.
 

These are just some of the many forms of invalidation that can take place. Really, any word or action that is designed to belittle the other person can be considered a way of invalidating them.
 

Control 

Objectification and invalidation lead to the narcissist or sociopath being able to exert their control over others. This control is something that they yearn for relentlessly because it allows them to minimize the risk to their ego. If they fear anything, it is a blow to the ego that they rely on so heavily to function in life.
 

All of their calculated words and actions are designed to promote themselves into a position of authority and power. From here they can control a person much like they try to control their environment. It doesn't matter that this authority is illusory, they play on it and try to convince others of it, and they are often successful. They are effectively con artists in this respect.
 

This control is necessary for the narcissist or sociopath because of the way they view everything in their surroundings as an extension of themselves. Just like you value the control you have over your movements, they see the manipulation of others in the same light. To them, it is nothing more than a natural way to go about business.
 

On top of this, their positioning of themselves at the center of the universe means that nobody is more important than they are, and their needs should be prioritized over all others. It is this mindset that allows them to disregard everyone else in such a flagrant way; they simply put themselves first at all times regardless of the impact this may have.
 

These personalities also seek control over others because of their own, hidden, insecurities. Internally, they really don't feel in control at all, so instead they focus their efforts on controlling as much of the external world as they can, and this includes people.
 

Of course, in any form of relationship with such a person, this control can manifest itself in countless ways. It can involve telling their victim who they can and can't see, getting jealous of others, and the taking over of all financial decisions. It might mean dictating what career path to follow, which hobbies to take up, and how to dress. It can also stray into even darker territories.
 

Disrespecting Personal Boundaries

Objectification and the need for control combine to create one of the most destructive aspects of narcissists and sociopaths. It is more a consequence of dehumanization, although in some ways still a method of achieving it. Since people are mere objects to be used and controlled in their eyes, many have no misgivings when it comes to invading personal space and abusing their victims both physically and sexually.
 

They completely lack any moral code that stops them from subjecting their victims to ordeals that will likely scar them for life. If they are met with resistance or protests, they are able to reject that person's feelings in another demonstration of invalidation. Even if there is no physical contact, they will often stand deliberately close to other people in order to try and exert their dominance. 

https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/4361/dehumanization-mechanism-narcissists-sociopaths-mistreat-others/

12 Ways Narcissists & Sociopaths Reveal a Pathological Intent to Cause Harm

In this article the term narcissist, or narcissism, refer to persons that fully meet the criteria (as opposed to mere tendencies) for Narcissistic Personality Disorder - or its more extreme version on the spectrum, Sociopathy or Psychopathy, labeled as Antisocial Personality Disorder in the DSM-5.

These character disorders are cognitive disturbances that, unlike other mental health disorders, predispose persons to intentionally act out their rage and scorn on others, in characteristically patterned behaviors (Narcissistic Abuse).

The use of male pronouns is supported by decades of research showing that domestic violence, sexual assault, rape, mass shootings, pedophilia, and other acts of "false-power" violence are not gender neutral. They are rooted in rigid adherence to gendered might-makes-right norms for "toxic masculinity" for men (and "toxic femininity" for women). These norms idealize violence and intimidation as means to male establish status and dominance. Though comparatively fewer in number, female narcissists exist; they too self-identify with "toxic masculinity"
 

1. They use gaslighting to derail any attempt of another to feel fully human, as separate beings with needs, wants, dreams of their own.

Narcissists regard kind, loving, caring persons as not only inferior and weak, but also dangerous and emasculating to those in authority positions.

They live in a topsy turvy world in which everyone is either a hunter or prey. In other words, they lie, lie, lie to themselves and one another about what is normal in human relationships.

These lies are not just the "normal" lying most use at least occasionally, i.e., to defend or avoid conflict and so on. **They gaslight**

And gaslighting is a form of lying, a fear-elevating communication tactic, proven in scientific studies, to cripple the otherwise amazing abilities of the human brain to think, more specifically, to derail any attempts of a partner to emotionally connect as a real live human being with a voice, yearnings, wants, and dreams of her own.

He sees his job as training her to think, do, feel, say what serves or pleases his needs and interests. Anything else he perceives as a threat.

In couple relationships, the use of gaslighting is a common practice, an example of tactics that even otherwise amazing "good" guys methodically apply to keep their spouse or girlfriend in her place, literally, by shutting down her every attempt to emotionally connect in humanizing ways.

So learn the signs of gaslighting, and save your energy, by letting go of wanting a narcissist to "get" or "understand" the situation you are in.
 

2. They lie feeling entitled to do so to prove their superiority.

Narcissists lie as a way of life. They say one thing, yet do another. They often speak in code, amongst one another. They say the word love, they mean sex.

They view concept such as soulmates or partnership relations as bait to trap women. To them, it's nonsense or "emotional craziness" associated with the "weaker" sex.

Every "real" man is supposed to only need sex, a form of love that is manly - and it's his job to "fix" her so that she only serves as a extension of what pleases and doesn't threaten him.

Get to know what they really mean by what they do, and what a narcissist means when he says "I love you" to his partner, and take nothing they say at face value. It is all designed to confuse, derail, diminish another's sense of agency and worth. It's beyond what most human beings would ever suspect.

This also explains narcissists' systematic use of gaslighting. In his mind, he's proving that women are "emotionally crazy" due to their obsession with "love stuff," and yet this love stuff supposedly also makes women dangerous, fierce competitors, who are trying to con and strip men of the emotional detachment that protects and keeps them virile, strong, impenetrable - you know, just like Delilah and Samson.

As a tool, gaslighting is designed to dominate, domesticate, train a partner to feel their wants and needs and voice are irrelevant, selfish, invisible, undeserving of attention, and so on.

Make no mistake, it is a tried and true tactic, however, it is only effective on those that are unaware or disarmed by gaslighting and other con-acts, such as "love bombing" (the narcissists attempt to act like normal, empathic human beings.

The problem is rooted in the "cult of masculinity" that strategically works to explain violence as normal and evidence of "real" masculinity or strength, superiority of male sex, but also dangerous entitlements to benefits that include exploiting and harming those they arbitrarily deem inferior, weak, feeble.
 

3. They believe violating the rights of a partner is proof of their superiority.

Narcissists do not see their partner, or women in general, as human beings. This more than anything else explains why they act entitled to treat women (perhaps also other groups, children, gays, nonwhites, other religions, etc.) as having no right to voice an opinion, make a request, ask to be treated with dignity. 

They do not see a woman partner as human. In many cases the domestic violence is mostly or perhaps solely emotional abuse, a form of emotional abuse that is separate and far more severe than the usual tongue lashings of parents scolding, shaming children into obedience (although this is also abuse, and harmful as well).

Trying to get a narcissist to understand that they should stop what they do because it hurts you or your relationship, or another person, often leads to, as one of my clients put it, a "conversation from hell."

That's because: To argue with their points causes more not less confusion, self-doubt, disconnect from common sense. Narcissists know this well. They want you to argue over the points they make, or their accusations.

Narcissists intentionally violate and abuse a partner, using the tactic of gaslighting to get into their mind to subjugate their will, control what they think, feel and believe about self and their abuser.

Ultimately the goal of narcissistic abuse is to inflict on their partner the same topsy-turvy worldview they hold - one in which the abuser is infallible master and justified in all they do to include abuse, whereas their victim is ever to blame, deserves, even caused their own abuse.
 

4. They display outrage if their "right" to mistreat or hurt another with impunity is questioned.

Narcissists reveal themselves by the way they automatically react to even hints that they hurt or mistreated a partner, or a request for some understanding or attention to the other's wants or needs.

Telling a narcissist that they faltered in any way is likely to get a violent reaction, a fit of rage, physical and, or emotional abuse, stony silence or punitive treatment that lasts for hours or days. They may leave the house for an extended period of time, or react violently just to have an excuse to leave or do what they wanted anyway.

This reveals the dehumanizing view they hold of others, and sadly of human relationships. In their mind, those in authority never engage or want mutual understanding, they never cooperate, and they always view a partner's attempts to gain their cooperation as a dangerous ploy women use to subjugate and turn men into women.

The violent reaction by the way is intentional, itself part of a strategy. It's how "those in authority" are supposed to use fear-based tactics, in this case, cold anger or rage, to train those deemed weak to keep their place.

In their mind, your relationship is a boot camp, and the narcissist is the drill sergeant and you're a recruit who needs to be subordinated to obey upon command.

Narcissists hold a "might makes right" view of this world, which forms the basis of the thought disturbance associated with both narcissistic and antisocial personality disorders.

It is a worldview that strategizes 24/7 to destroy any evidence, or persons or groups, which promote ideas of mutuality, compassion-based relationships, cooperation, self-governance, human rights and dignified treatment for all human beings.

This is why narcissists hate and fear the truth like nothing else. It threatens their existence because the core of what they believe is simply founded on house-of-card lies.
 

5. They obsessively gather intimate data that a partner discloses to fulfill the aims of their con.

Narcissists gather data and take note of what a partner reveals are her dreams, wants, likes, and gives special attention to what she shares are her weaknesses, wounds, and details of previous partners and relationships.

Narcissists listen carefully, especially at the start of a relationship, but it is never to understand a partner's heart; it is rather to gather data to fulfill the aims of their exploitation schemes.

Narcissists have also studied women as a group (as well as other groups they deem weak) in order to use words and for bait-and-switch traps for them. It's easy. Most women love to talk, and engage in taking turns talking about self with friends a lot.

For example, they know women are looking for soulmates, spiritual guys, and they know women hunger for attention, compliments, feeling close, emotional connection, partnership relationships, and so on.

A covert narcissist may sabotage his partners success in hidden ways by making it more difficult, or may support her, but does so to promote his own image, and take credit for her success, or her as a trophy by his side.

Narcissists also make direct strikes where they know a partner has been most wounded in childhood or a past relationship. E.g. If you were molested or sexually assaulted, he will request demeaning sex acts and/or demand sex when you are not ready. Or maybe he goes out of his way to flirt with other women, make his partner feel threatened, doubt herself, knowing she experienced infidelity in the past, or gets upset when he flirts or gawks at other women.

A narcissist goes out of his way to misrepresent his partner, or what she stated were her thoughts and dreams, for example, he may use what she said to accuse her of being selfish or caring only about her success, or make her feel absurd, crazy or evil.

Narcissism is a serious pathology, a worldview that causes much suffering for those around them. There is no pathology less "normal" for human beings.

To the extent a narcissist hates and feels scorn for human traits of love and caring, kindness and compassion, in himself and others, keeps himself walled off from all that brings beauty and meaning - and some semblance of normalcy - to human life.
 

6. They employ scientifically proven, fear-based tactics to terrorize a partner into feeling irrelevant, voiceless, invisible.

A narcissist knowingly uses tactics that elevates cortisol in the brain and body of their victims. When this occurs, the body's survival system is activated, and automatically, thinking areas of the brain go offline.

In other words, fear and confusion cripples the brain's otherwise amazing capacity to think reflectively. This makes it easier for the narcissist to get away with lies and illusions.

Narcissists were exposed to many of these tactics of dominance, and learned the rules of "real masculinity" in childhood. They also typically study methods of persuasion, and the use of words and language as a tool to exploit others.

Today, we have nearly a century's worth of science-based methods in thought control available, perfected in the last few decades with studies of neurolinguistic programming.

These are commonly used in training workforces in most all industries and sectors, among others, advertising, sales, military, politics, and so on.

The sociopath reveals himself in the specific outcomes they achieve in using a specific set of tactics that knowingly cause their partner to lose their sense of self in the relationship, and overall feel voiceless, invisible, irrelevant, to blame for the narcissist's "unhappiness" or what's gone wrong in the relationship, yet also confused because they cannot believe the love he professed was never real.

With covert narcissists, the use of these tactics can remain well hidden, and they prefer to operate by making themselves look like "laid back good guys" who have to live with an angry, emasculating wife that makes their life miserable.

They know how and when to trigger a partner to complain or have an outburst of anger, and then blame her and turn others against her, or get them to side with him.

In all cases, this is  NARCISSISTIC ABUSE  and it is separate and more severe than what we also refer to as emotional abuse. If you're experiencing this, get professional help from someone who has experience in the area.

To protect your sense of agency, a first step is to let go of needing any validation or approval from the narcissist. One of their aims, after all, to hook their prey on needing their approval or validation.
 

7. They expect a partner to take pleasure in being used as a punching bag.

A narcissist lives in misery, self-loathing inside, and misery loves company. They cannot stand the sight of happy, cheery and successful persons, and hatred stems from the hatred and disgust they feel for any signs of weakness in others, and thus themselves.

The narcissist not only takes pleasure in hurting or making their partner feel bad, i.e., selfish, spinning their wheels, failing to make them happy, and so on, they also hold a perverse belief that their partner, or women and the "weak" in general, admire them for dominating or keeping them in their place, and overall take pleasure in being used as punching bags or objects for their pleasure.

To break free, the first step is to understand, and believe that a narcissist is hooked on hurting and using others as a punching bag, that's all the supply they need to keep their false-self superiority over others game going. This explains why it's impossible to make them happy or rescue them from their misery and fragile sense of security.
 

8. They seek to separate their partner from all they love or makes them thrive.

The narcissist takes pride in honing skills that condition a partner with fear and shame, confusion, self-doubting, scared to act on their own, so that they drop what they once associated with happiness, fulfillment, strengths, talents, such as a job, career, parenting, hobbies, and so on.

They take pleasure in competing for power to outsmart and block you from realizing your goals for positive growth as individuals and a couple.

They cannot stand a partner feels happy or fulfilled, admired, or has any pleasure for that matter apart that doesn't please the narcissist; they want to keep you obsessed on rescuing them from misery or their addictions, such as pornography or affairs.

The secret to outsmarting a narcissist is not trying to, refusing to play by their subhuman rules. Be human, connect to your heart, cultivate the authenticity of your connection to your self and life around you. Learn to control only what you can and let go of the rest, i..e., the narcissist; it is a waste of your energy, not worth the anger build up or headache.
 

9. They seek to isolate partners away from family friends, or other support systems.

Narcissists use an array of fear tactics to isolate their partners away from persons who love and care for them. This is part of their strategy to take control and put them in a state of dependency on them.

Thus, narcissists work systematically, some overtly but others covert and undetected, to make a partner question family members and friends, at every opportunity, to doubt their loyalty and support, to question your sanity, and rewrite your history, and question their motives.

Simultaneously, they may instill others with doubts about a partner's mental stability, pull out a diagnostic label or two, i.e., bipolar or borderline, and even actually set up their partner to look controlling, demanding, emotionally unstable by triggering them.
 

10. They regard their "partners" as possessions or objects pleasure.

In their worldview, narcissists regard women as objects for the pleasure and comfort of men. Their brain treats their relationship with you, as a partner, as it would living in a jungle or a war zone.

They are conditioned to believe that it's a woman's job to make a man feel like a man by meeting his pleasure needs, and that it is both emasculating and dangerous for a man to "give in" to the emotional closeness a woman wants. This explains why a narcissist sees a woman as someone who is a fierce competitor, vying for power to dominate, and that he must get her before she gets him.

So they willingly "stoop down" to the level of those they exploit, much like an actor on the big screen, as long as it is part of their con game, one that, in their pathological mindset, proves their superiority and prowess over you.

Remember they've studied women, and learn to speak their "emotional connection," "soulmate," "partnership" lingo, to say and do, and to disguise themselves accordingly.

They "love bomb" women as part of their con game - knowing what women want to hear, they put on a "act" of saying loving things, or empathizing and so on, to bait and switch and trap, but also to disarm accordingly.

If someone says they "love" you, yet expects you to be okay with being abused, doing something that compromises your values, or you find sexually distasteful or uncomfortable, it's not love - it's hatred of human truth and common sense wisdom. Run!
 

11. They feel disgust for human emotions of empathy.

Narcissists reveal a pathological disconnect to the emotion of empathy and empathic connection by the level of disgust they express whenever a partner tries to tell them they felt hurt by something the narcissist did.

Even in therapy settings for couples, narcissists self-identify. Automatically, they gaslight to derail the conversation.

Contrary to what we once thought, the narcissist can and does express empathy - but only "stoops down" if they think there is some benefit for them to do so, such as to con, to trick, to perform or trap someone they are preying on. Based on their worldview, this and other "human caring" traits disgust them.

They grew up in environments where they learned to feel shame and disgust for these "soft human" traits, associate them with women and children, and other groups, i.e., gay that those in positions of authority, the strong and mighty, are destined (in their mind) to prey upon, exploit and abuse - as proof of their superiority. This reveals the pathology of their thought disturbance, which occurred as a result of early traumatic experiences.

For narcissists, it is an act. They are merely "stooping down" to prove their superiority by using this as a decoy, a tactic to exploit another. This "love bombing" is part of the con game of most narcissists.

To them, the fact that women can be fooled in this way is proof the female gender's inferiority, and proof of the male gender's superiority and right to dominate, treat a woman like a possession. Using empathy is a bait and switch power-over-another tool used intentionally to deceive, impress, ensnare.
 

12. They believe the ability to con others into serving their interests is evidence of their superiority.

Narcissists have honed skills of dominance, practiced them with men from boyhood, perhaps also in the military.

They believe women are less than human, and it's men's jobs to domesticate them, like animals, to keep their place, never question the narcissist, and become obsessed with his happiness and comfort- training her to disconnect from her own needs, wants, feelings, voice, dreams, etc.

Their gaslighting reaction is automatic, repeated, predictable, punitive, and over the top, and it serves to train a woman to disconnect from her needs for closeness, to be treated with dignity, like a human being.

Gaslighting can render a person speechless, baffled. It's not occasional, here and there, but repetitive. And it's not arguing, it's a 180 degree shift that derails what a partner brought up to the list of things a narcissists uses to make his partner feel bad, small, undeserving, irrelevant, crazy, and so on.
psychcentral.com